


The Adventures of Captain Sexy Junior

by seashadows



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Het and Slash, LiveJournal Prompt, M/M, Multi, Originally Posted on LiveJournal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-05
Updated: 2013-05-05
Packaged: 2017-12-10 11:42:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/785674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seashadows/pseuds/seashadows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James T. Kirk's penis keeps a diary. Yes, it's just as cracky as it sounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Adventures of Captain Sexy Junior

Dear Diary,  
Fed up to HERE with Kirk the Smirker sticking me in everything that won't bite him (or me - what does he think I am, his slave?) Thought I was going to be inside a very hot doctor today, but noooo, Kirk apparently decides to grow some morals (and by "morals," I mean _not_ sleeping with the nearest humanoid because he's paranoid of being thrown up on) at the same time I get hard. Settled for an Andorian girl instead. Score!  
  
Dear Diary,  
As Quagmire from Galaxy Guy would say, jackpot! Three people. I'm too blissed-out to determine whether they were males, females, neither, or both (honestly, Kirk would fuck genderless aliens). I think one of them left him a cockring, though, ack.  
  
Dear Diary,  
WTF?! VINEGAR? IT BURNS!!!  
  
Dear Diary,  
Kirk finally got it on with the hot doctor, who bitched the whole time about STDs and what-the-hell-will-the-neighbors-think before coming all over me. Have notched my opinion of him from four hubba-hubbas to three, but Kirk seems fairly besotted. No idea why.  
  
Later:  
Have an idea why. This guy has a more talented tongue than...well, I won't name names.  
  
Dear Diary,  
Got hard at a very inconvenient time: in the middle of class. Introduced once again to Mr. Right Hand, followed by Mr. Left Hand, not that introductions were needed. The hands were too damn rough, but they got the job done, figuratively speaking. I feel like I've been run through a meat grinder.  
  
Dear Diary,  
Vinegar alien again. I've resigned myself to doing this once a year. At least the hot doctor treated my burns this time, but ran like hell when I started getting hard; not my fault, actually. His Mr. Right Hand is far smoother and more cool than Kirk's. Well, oops, there I go again.  
  
Dear Diary,  
Sorry I haven't written for a while. I've just been completely out of commission because Kirk spent a week with a DELTAN. OMG. The idiot! When will he ever learn? Hot doctor smacked his ass for a while before getting around to treating me, but I think it was meant as a turn-on, not a punishment. Too bad. Well, he did use his hands for a bit, so it wasn't all bad. Ba-zing!  
  
Dear Diary,  
Sucks to be me. I got hard in the middle of an exam on Interspecies Ethics. Hot Vulcan professor just kept raising an eyebrow at Kirk for squirming. I _told_ him to take care of things before he left for the exam, but _nooooo._  
  
Dear Diary,  
Have found out the vinegar alien is actually human, very burly cadet whom Kirk keeps nicknaming after pastry. Ewwwww. I'd stage a mutiny, but I just don't have the energy.  
  
Dear Diary,  
Was about to be inside a very hot Orion girl (and when I say "very hot", I'm talkin' multiple orgasm ability to rival that Deltan, XY chromosome be damned) when Kirk and I were cock-blocked by her almost-equally hot roommate. Something Uhura, I think. Hope Kirk gets to nail her at some point, 'cause I wouldn't mind tracing along those boobs.  
  
Dear Diary,  
Hot sex with doctor again, followed almost immediately by getting pushed from behind...by a Vulcan. Huh. Never pegged (no pun intended) Kirk as a bottom. Well, at any rate, threesome went extremely well, if I do say so myself. Am currently being lazily petted by hot Vulcan while hot doctor rests on Kirk's chest and grumps. Hope to do this again sometime. By Kirk's remarks, I think this'll become a regular thing. Score!  
  
Kirk's dick, _out_.

**Author's Note:**

> References Family Guy and Garfield (the hubba-hubbas thing appeared in an early comic).


End file.
